Thursday, January 26, 2012

Just another unproductive day for a pregnant lady

Another unproductive day at work. Some people say pregnant woman is not fit to work. I think its very true. Since my pregnancy syndrome started about 3 weeks ago.. I noticed that I did not do much work at the office. I did not do things that I am supposed to do. I slept twice a day in the 'surau'.. just cant help myself. Even if I am at my desk, I seldom do my work.

Last week I was on medical leave for 2 days. This week luckily 2 days were public holidays (Chinese New Year). So I only have to come to work for 3 days. But the not so good news is I have to go to Demo Plant for 2 days. Very tiring.... 1 1/2 hour driving to Demo Plant which is about 92km from my house... and another 1 1/2 hour driving back home. There goes 3 hours of driving everytime I have to work at Demo Plant. Not that I don't enjoy working there.. in fact I enjoy more working in Demo Plant rather than in the office. But its just that my condition right now makes me feel so tired to do anything. The best thing to do for me is lying down in front of the TV.. hhmm.. cant wait to go back.

Can't blame this pregnancy for making me feel uncomfortable most of the time I'm awake. Not all pregnant woman experience the same as I do. In fact not all pregnancy feel the same. I remember when I was pregnant by 1st child, I had no problem, no sickness, I was active and productive. But my second pregnancy was not that good. I always got sick, back ache, morning sickness, less appetite, and immature contraction that I was admitted to hospital twice. My doctor had given me bed rest for 2 months before my delivery date cause I was not fit to work.

Well.. that is 'rezeki' that Allah had decided for me. And I thank him that I was not tested with more difficult test. I don't know how this pregnancy will be.. whether its going to be easy like the first one or less easy like the 2nd one. Whatever it is I pray that the baby and I will survive with the help from Him...

Ohh.. I just found out today that another friend of mine is also pregnant. How coincident. So there are 3 of us who are currently going through almost the same phase... the sickness and tiredness. 3 years ago the 3 of us also got pregnant at the same time. We call it 'penyakit berjangkit' :)

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Kekuatan itu hanya dari Allah


Tak sangka dah dekat setahun blog ni tak ber'update'. My last post was in March 2011.. and now is already January 2012. Masya-Allah.. how time flies so fast. Rasa macam baru jer dok jenguk2 blog2 orang, especially my favorites. Bila kenang2 balik.. since April 2011 I have been fully occupied with real things that I should be doing at work. Yer la.. nama pun keje.. patutnya mana bleh blogging2 .. surfing2... tu dah menyalah gunakan waktu kerja namanya kan? Yes.. I have been working very hard last year after receiving 'hidayah' from Allah s.w.t.. after months of doing practically nothing at work (read my earlier post). Alhamdulillah.. Allah masih sayangkan saya.. Dia tak mahu saya terus menerima rezeki yang kurang diberkati (yer la.. kalo dah pegi keje tp tak buat keje.. kan makan gaji buta namanya tu.. na'uzubillah)

But why am I writing blog again now? Huhuhuhu... sesuatu yang tetap tidak boleh dimaafkan walau apa pun alasannya. Hati saya berbelah bagi dari td.. antara nak balik rumah atau stay di ofis. Kalo balik rumah saya x buat keje.. saya baring dan tido saje. Kalo stay di ofis pun saya x dpt nak buat keje.. sebab saya dalam fasa perubahan fizikal, emosi dan mental.. walaupun boleh dikatakan masih baru.. tapi kesannya memang terasa. Antaranya cepat letih, selalu mengantuk, perut 'gassy', mual n loya, hilang fokus, susah utk berfikir. Akhirnya saya decide to stay jer kat ofis n do some surfing. But this must not make a habbit.

Esok sy perlu ke Demo Plant. Dah sebulan tak ke sana. Ya Allah.. larat ker saya mengharungi perjalanan pegi balik ke sana.. dan stay di sana dari kol 10pg sampai 5 ptg. Ya Allah.. berilah kekuatan bagiku untuk bekerja esok. Sehari jer.. lepas tu cuti 4 hari.. Alhamdulillah .. boleh rest kat rumah. Semakin berusia semakin sukar pula nak mengharungi keadaan ini. Moga2 Allah sentiasa beri saya kekuatan. Amin...

Monday, March 14, 2011

The update, the CEP, the new friends, The Last Lecture and I

December 2010 was the most unproductive period at work. Apart from the health problem my family and I had, I seemed lost at work. Less motivation, less driving force, although I had my list of task to be completed. Some are less priority, some are too difficult to be done, some stuck half way through, some I simply refuse to do (boleh tak camtu? :)). In short, i think I just lost passion towards my work.

I thought when the new year 2011 came, it will change. Naahhh.. It didn't. So, there goes my January down the drain with very little progress at work. Hmm.. I wonder what did I do in the office. I must be doing NOTHING because I can't remember anything. That's bad!!

February came and I had to attend a 2 weeks leadership course. I was reluctant initially. Why? 1. I heard from participant of previous session saying that the course was boring. 2. I may not be able to go home everyday as the course is packed until late night. 3. I feel old to attend such course...haha. Realizing that everybody will be busy doing preparation for our R&D Day and I don't want to be part of that 'busyness', I decided to attend the course. But I set in my mind to be open, not to have high expectation, to learn and to have fun!!

Well.. I did have fun and learn a lot of things during that course. Got the chance to meet and know and work together with wonderful people from various division of SD. The course content was excellent, and so did the execution of the activities, the facilitators, the speakers. I had the most interesting and fun learning time. The course really motivates me to become a better person... a better leader actually.

I came back from the course telling myself that I want to be different and I want to make a different. It has been 1 week since I came back from the course. I think I am slightly different. Definitely not totally, but at least the way I look at things. One thing for sure is that I miss my new friends, especially my teammates and the time we spent together, which I never thought I will be. Ridzuan - the young enthusiastic Singaporean, Nadia - the pretty young lady with excellent English and a die-hard gym fan, Jag - the tallest & biggest & coolest Singh with favorite tagline 'boleh la boss', and Faiz - the cool and calm gentleman with high potential to become a great leader. They are my teammates.

I foresee that for me to become a better person (I prefer to use 'person' rather than 'leader'), it's not going to be easy. There will be challenges that I have to face, especially at work where the culture is already developed. People are skeptical when they see new change or the people who try to make the change. The biggest challenge I think will be coming from myself. I got to tell myself that although it's not going to be easy, it's not very difficult as well as long as I want to become a better person - POSITIVE and PROACTIVE!!

Today I started to read a book entitle 'The last lecture' by Randy Pausch, which I received at the end of the leadership course because I was voted by the participants as the top 5 leaders. :) Sangat terharu and sangat memberi semangat and peransang. But just after reading the first page, I couldn't help myself crying until I had to stop reading at page 5. Why? The fact that the author wrote the book because he knew that he was dying of cancer and he wanted to leave something as legacy, especially for his family. I was really touched knowing that he was preparing his family to move on with their life without him. He was still considered young, 40++ with 2 sons of age 5 and 2, and a girl of age 1. Can't imagine how his wife went through the days. I can't even imagine my life without my husband and my kids.

Anyway, I must continue to read the book someday. I will try not to get very 'into' the book. I want to learn something from the author and I believe he did leave a legacy in 'The last lecture'.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Ayoub & Sepi

Lagu yang sedang terngiang-ngiang di telinga sekarang ini ialah Sepi dari 6ixth Sense. Lagu ni lagu soundtrack cerita 'Ayoub' ..drama kat TV3 yang pukul 10.30 mlm tu. Saya tak mengikuti pun cerita ni. Tapi bila dah nak akhir2 tu macam best plak. Tapi soundstrack dia lagi best lah!!

Sepi - 6ixth Sense
Hapus airmatamu dah jangan bersedih
Aku di sini menemanimu melukis hari
Hapus airmatamu dah jangan bersedih
Aku di sini menemanimu melukis hari

Mentari pagi
Bawakan embun sejukkan pagi
Aku di sini menatap engkau
menangis sepi

Oh sepi sepiku
Janganlah bersedih hati

Hapus airmatamu dah jangan bersedih
Aku di sini menemanimu melukis hari
Hapus airmatamu dah jangan bersedih
Aku di sini menemanimu melukis hari

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

'Not so good' week

Last week was a 'not so good' week. Adam demam, Amir selsema + batuk yang tak baik2 dah 3 minggu lebih, and I myself got sore throat and lost my voice. I was supposed to go to Japan for a one-week job attachment. But at last minute I had to cancel it because the kids had not recovered. Alhamdulillah syukur sgt2 that Adam was not admitted to hospital, although at one point I was determined to send him to hospital because he didn't want to eat nor drink. Alhamdulillah juga that my boss willing to replace me for that Japan trip (hhmm... not really sure that he actually willing or not.. hehehehe). Alhamdulillah that I don't have to leave my family for a week. Can't imagine leaving them that long even if they are all healthy. I never leave them more than 2 nights. Maybe that's why I can't imagine if I have to leave them longer.

Some people said it is blessing in disguise. Some other people said rugi tak dpt pegi Jepun. Some other pulak berpendapat nasib baik tak pegi jepun. Whatever people said or think.. I am very sure that all these things happened for reason. Hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Am I terkilan? Not really. Maybe because I myself was 50-50 when I decided to tell my boss that I can go to Japan if I had to and if he wants me too. I didn't do any preparation except for the Japan visa. Dan akhirnya... Allah menentukan belum masanya saya pergi.

Anyway.. back to office after 1 week there are too many things to be done. As usual I'm having trouble to choose which and where to start with. Already make the task list.. already know which one is more important and/or urgent.. but still don't know where to start with. End up I am here writing on my blog. Very not productive :P

I am thinking of going out for a window shopping and shopping probably on necessary items. Yeah.. got buy some new clothes for Adam since many of his old clothes do not fit anymore. Thinking of buying a new comforter set for the guess room since my sister will use that room during her engagement day just around the corner. Must buy a new pair of sandal for myself. The one that I'm wearing right now are already tore up. Tunggu masa jer nak tercabut. Must find a new nice dustbin for the kitchen as well. The existing one dah hilang penutupnya. Got to buy some stuff for the lab.. polystyrene, white board, papers, etc. Hhmm.. it seems that I have good reason to go for a shopping. But when?

Friday, November 26, 2010

Hari yang kurang bersemangat

Hari ini kurang bersemangat untuk bekerja. kenapa?

1) Dapat tahu kene pergi course 2 minggu
2) Terlupa esok (Sabtu) rupanya kene datang ofis sbb ade company nak buat presentation
3) Ada banyak keje kene buat.. tp tak suka keje2 tu
a) Equipment lease agreement
b) 2 conference report
c) equipment technical spec
4) Mengenangkan kene pegi jepun seminggu bulan depan

Friday, August 13, 2010

Racist + Politics = Boring

Early this week Tun Mahathir in his blog made a post titled "To be or not to be a racist" ( I have to admit that he did made some points, which I do agree on some of them when I look from his point of view. As usual many bloggers made comments.. 165 comments to be specific. Everybody have their own opions and perceptions, some agree and some disagree. After reading several latest comments, it appears to me that almost everybody if not all feel that they are right. There are people who put the blame on the others, there are people who defend the side who being blamed. Semua pun 'perasan' yang diri sendiri betul. Very few who admit their mistake, apatah lagi highlight kelemahan diri sendiri. And there are people yang 'kaki ampu'.

You talk about racist, automatically it relates with politics. You talk about politics, it always about BN vs Pembangkang, it always about UMNO, PAS, PKR, DAP, MCA, MIC, etc. Haiyyoooo... very boring. Reading postings and comments on racist and political issues made me feel .... ntah lah! Boring ade, geram ade, marah ade, benci ade, malas nak layan ade, sedih ade, terkilan ade, menyampah ade, and all sort of feelings that I don't like.

Do we need to be racist? Perlu ker isu kaum dipolitikkan? Perlu ker parti politik mengikut kaum? Perlu ker kaum dikaitkan dengan politik? By the way, boleh tak kalau tidak ade langsung parti politik? Hmm.... saya mengeluh mengenangkan dan memikirkan bende ini. Boleh tak saya buat tidak tahu saje.. like I always did. Tapi sampai bila? Apa yang saya boleh lakukan? Jika berterusan ade 2 atau lebih .. saya perlu memilih. Pihak mana yang saya perlu pilih? How to choose? hhhmmm.... (mengeluh lagi)

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