Hari ni rasa x bersemangat sgt. Fikiran bercelaru. Sejak sampai ofis.. x buat keje langsung. bila teringat jer.. mesti menangis. mudah betul air mata ni gugur. just cant help it. Stress sbb abah asyik sms and call. I guess he must be feeling guilty after what he discussed yesterday. Yes.. I was really shocked with the news. Although I've thought about it before, but I never expected that it will come at this moment. But cant blame abah for that. it is his right to ask for that kenari. and his intention was to give to iylia. bukan nak bg kat sape pun. tpi kami pulak yg problem x de kereta.
dr smalam lg air mata ni senang sgt mengalir. teringat kata2 abg. mmg dia penah marah sblum ni. tp smalam dia betul2 marah dan yg amat menyedihkan dia marah pd abah sebenarnya. I was and I am caught in the middle. Hate this feeling. Dulu selalu tersepit antara abah and mama. x sangka plak skang ni tersepit antara abah and husband. though diorg ckp.. not to make me choose.. but still i feel caught in the middle.
ya allah.. dah lama allah x uji aku dgn ujian begini. tu la.. masa happy x ingat pada Nya. skang ni baru diuji sedikit dah menangis beriya2. mcm mana nanti kalo diuji yg lebih berat. ape2 pun syukur ade Adam. budak kecik x tau ape.. dia still ketawa dan menangis spt biasa. alhamdulillah.. tu lah penguat semangat.. penceria hari2.
rasa nak balik rumah.. tenangkan fikiran. tp abg ade kat rumah. dia mc.. mesti sbb dia pun x de mood nak keje. bukan x nak berdepan dgn dia. tp yg sebenarnya x nak berbincang soal tu lg. tak reti nak ckp ape.. mmg dah camni perangai.. nak wat camne. lebih suka berdiam diri. tp stay kat ofis pun.. bukan buat kerja.. asyik teringat psl tu jer... abih2 lawat fotopages org.
camne nak ckp dgn abg? camne nak ckp dgn abah.. sungguh aku x punya kekuatan utk berbicara. diam mungkin yg terbaik buat masa ini. tp bukan selamanya.
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