Just another unproductive day for a pregnant lady

Another unproductive day at work. Some people say pregnant woman is not fit to work. I think its very true. Since my pregnancy syndrome started about 3 weeks ago.. I noticed that I did not do much work at the office. I did not do things that I am supposed to do. I slept twice a day in the 'surau'.. just cant help myself. Even if I am at my desk, I seldom do my work.

Last week I was on medical leave for 2 days. This week luckily 2 days were public holidays (Chinese New Year). So I only have to come to work for 3 days. But the not so good news is I have to go to Demo Plant for 2 days. Very tiring.... 1 1/2 hour driving to Demo Plant which is about 92km from my house... and another 1 1/2 hour driving back home. There goes 3 hours of driving everytime I have to work at Demo Plant. Not that I don't enjoy working there.. in fact I enjoy more working in Demo Plant rather than in the office. But its just that my condition right now makes me feel so tired to do anything. The best thing to do for me is lying down in front of the TV.. hhmm.. cant wait to go back.

Can't blame this pregnancy for making me feel uncomfortable most of the time I'm awake. Not all pregnant woman experience the same as I do. In fact not all pregnancy feel the same. I remember when I was pregnant by 1st child, I had no problem, no sickness, I was active and productive. But my second pregnancy was not that good. I always got sick, back ache, morning sickness, less appetite, and immature contraction that I was admitted to hospital twice. My doctor had given me bed rest for 2 months before my delivery date cause I was not fit to work.

Well.. that is 'rezeki' that Allah had decided for me. And I thank him that I was not tested with more difficult test. I don't know how this pregnancy will be.. whether its going to be easy like the first one or less easy like the 2nd one. Whatever it is I pray that the baby and I will survive with the help from Him...

Ohh.. I just found out today that another friend of mine is also pregnant. How coincident. So there are 3 of us who are currently going through almost the same phase... the sickness and tiredness. 3 years ago the 3 of us also got pregnant at the same time. We call it 'penyakit berjangkit' :)

Where and What will I be?

Lately I've been thinking and asking myself "what and where will I be in the next 5 - years?", "will I still be working? Or perhaps become a full-time house wife? Or perhaps doing own business?" Sebenarnya bukan baru2 ni jer terfikir soalan2 ni.. tp dah lama. Cuma tak pernah benar2 serius memikirkannya. Maybe because I felt comfortable with the life I went through, the working environment, etc.. that made me feel its not important to think about it seriously.

Sometimes I asked myself "Do I really love this job? Am I really suit with research type of work?" Sometime the answer is 'yes'.. sometimes the answer is 'no'. One think for sure I stayed because I know the experience and knowledge I gain from here will help me to achieve my ambition - to be a lecturer. Whether it will be realized or not.. hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. But what have I done to accomplish my dream? Hhmm..

What if I don't become a lecture? What is my alternative? Opening a tuition centre is not a bad idea.. at least I can still do some teaching and coaching. Or perhaps run my own business or a family business. But so far I am not into business. I may not be a good businesswoman. 'Business' means 'risk' to me and I am not a risk-taker person. I've once thought of opening a pet shop, which include cat boarding facility and breeding and selling cats. I love cat. But still this idea is considered as a business. Opening a nursery seems a good business nowdays since many woman are working and some are opt not to have (Indonesian) maid (I am one of them .. hehehe). But it has its own risk too.. jaga anak orang tak sama dgn jaga anak sendiri.. Hmmm..

I envy some of my friends who do things that they love such baking, photography, writing. They are so passion about what they are doing and they don't seems bother with extra work. They are so dedicated. Some of them just quit their jobs and open business. They must be so determine of what they want. I wonder if I have such determination and passion? And in what??

I believe if my determination is strong enough I would have further study and completed my Master Degree or PhD so that I can achieve my ambition straight away.. hehehe. If I have passion in one thing I would have concentrate on it and dedicate myself to it. But none of them happened yet.. hehhehehe..

Have I lost motivation or driving force to achieve what I want? Or I don't know what I want in life and what I want to be? Hhmm...

After a long time..

Waaahhh.. dah berbulan lamanya saya tidak menjenguk blog ini. Memang betul kata orang.. menulis blog ni ade 2 saje kemungkinan.. 1. menjadi addicted dan blog terus hidup... atau 2. hanya hangat2 tahi ayam dan terus berkubur.. well my blog certainly not the 2nd one.. otherwise I wont be writing today rite? But not no 1 as well... coz it has been abandoned for almost 1/2 a year.. an impresive record.. huhuhuhu.. not just my blog.. same goes to my fotopages. my last entry on fotopages was in December 2007

Hhhmm.. why didnt I update my blog, neither my fotopages? There is only one reason for it. I was and still am extremely busy with my work. Dulu2 masa tak de kesedaran sivik.. mende2 blog dgn fotopages ni buat time keje.. (ada ker patut) Masa tu nak kata tak banyak keje.. tak jugak. tp.. malas dan terlalu take it easy on the work. Tp.. pastu insaf skit aaaa. dah tak buat bende2 tu time keje. nak buat masa kat rumah lagi la tak boleh nyer.. dengan kerenah anakanda tercinta yang sedang membesar dan memerlukan perhatian sepanjang masa... agak sukar nak mem'blogging' dan mem'fotopaging' di rumah.

But why today I started blogging again? No specific reason la. But just now I read one of my friends' blog, Zalwanie (http://www.dakwanie.com/) and Afdlin's blog. Suddenly I felt like writing. huhuhuhu... is it because the power of these peoples word? Ntah ler.. mungkin juga. Or maybe saya dengki dengan mereka2 ni yang consistently update their blogs. But I wonder where they got all the time to blogging eh? And they got all those ideas to write?

I think in order to have a good blog one should have idea of what to be written. Yer la kan.. kalo dah dok membebel jer.. (like what I'm doing rite now) blog tu takkan memberi apa2 faedah kepada pembacanya. Orang pun tak berminat nak mengikuti. Nowdays anyone can blogging. Even ex-MB Selangor pun nak tulis blog. For what reason I dont know. Mungkin untuk berkongsi pendapat atau perasaan yang tak terluah kot. hhhhmm.. mungkin sbb tu kot saya membuka blog ni.. (tgh berfikir sejenak).. apa2 pun terpulang lah pada penulis blog dan pembaca blog menilai ..